everything that i hope that will not happen to me, happened to me.

am i really wrong is it really so wrong to request something that i want for myself. or is it i need to bear it all myself so that others will be happy? i am really confused now. the more i let go, the more it runs away further from me.

i really don't know how to be the perfect lover. maybe to love somebody means to let him do whatever he wants and only enjoy the part when he is coming back to you. then suffering by yourself again when he runs away then enjoys again when he thinks it's time to come back.

people who reads my blog, please don't ask me what happen. too long a story to tell. too hard for people to understand how i feel.