there were times when i don't understand myself.
i think, i think, i think, i am a selfish woman.

my heart has only the space to love my mummy, daddy, my 2 brothers, ah boy, ashley, and my best pals in school. there is no room for anybody else.

i can't give up my time for other people' child.
i cant', and i hate, to share ashley's things with anybody else.
i can't, and i really hate, to think that both of us are having babies but she is having a good time.
i think, i really hate that family.

he is adorable, and it is not his fault. but i donno, i just don like sharing her things with him. i bought all the things for her under alot of comsiderations and love. i want the best for her. but people just take her things for granted use it as they like it.

now, they are occupying one of ashley's drawers. to put his things.

see, i said i am selfish.

he don seems like their son. it seems like they are still having their honeymoon times while people in ah boy's family are slogging their time out looking after him. people in the family have to think twice if they wants to go out because of him. but they just simply chunk him here and do whatever they want.

their son gets to sit at the front sit of the lorry. my daughter has to sit at the back and have the wind blown all over her body.

is this fair to her, me and ah boy?

i really hate them.
but i have to keep quiet because ah boy would be unhappy if i tells him. i have to keep it to myself. i think i am going crazy.

but i still need to keep quiet.